Effective communication in the workplace is of critical importance to your professional image, your contribution to the greater strategy of your company, being recognised for your efforts, and your subsequent advancements and promotions in your industry. Yet many women in the workplace sometimes inadvertently exhibit communication behaviours which subtly undermine how confident and knowledgeable they appear.
As a learning and development professional especially, your role is to foster and promote the talent of others while creating and executing training and support strategies company-wide. This involves dealing with a wide range of internal stakeholders, including the most senior members of staff, so portraying a confident and in control demeanour is key to having your ideas heard, respected, and enacted.
If you feel that youād like to become a more confident communicator, especially in the workplace, weāve compiled a list of tips and advice on using body language and speech habits that will emit strength and confidence, while earning the respect youāve worked hard to deserve.
Avoid submissive body language
Body language is a very important part of communication, and itās important to avoid certain stances, gestures or poses that can convey weaknesses. This is not to say that youāre doing something wrong intentionally – itās quite the opposite. Some of these examples are things you may do every day and not even realise theyāre being interpreted negatively.
- Crossing your legs while standing – this can come across as apologetic, namely for occupying the amount of space youāre currently taking up. Instead, stand with feet shoulder-width apart and your back straight. This displays ownership of your space and confidence.
- Clasping your hands – when you clasp your hands down low, also known as the āfig leafā position, it can be interpreted as a sign of you being unsure of yourself or lacking in confidence. Instead, work out what for you looks like an assertive āneutralā position i.e. a resting place for your hands when theyāre not gesturing. For most people an assertive-looking neutral position is where the hands are resting together at about waist-height or above.This may feel strange initially but remember this is just a resting position for short periods of time. If in doubt ask someone to take photos of you using different neutral positions and see for yourself the difference this type of body language can make. Knowing what works for you as a neutral position will also be very useful for when youāre delivering presentations – More onĀ what to do with your hands during a presentation in front of others.
Donāt use devaluing language when talking about your achievements
Statistically speaking, women are often quick to explain away their personal effort and achievements as either a result of a team (even when thatās not the case), or as something that wasnāt as difficult as it actually was. While this could be attributed to the desirable trait of modesty, itās in fact doing you more harm than good. Another way to think of it is that youāre essentially saying āIām not worth being rewarded; my effort and achievements arenāt that greatā. Men on the other hand are generally more quick to accept responsibility and praise for their actions. Doing this once may not have immediate ramifications, but imagine what your boss thinks when youāre continually explaining away your value? Here are some phrases you should consider cutting from your vocabulary;
- āSorry to bother youā – Donāt apologise unless youāve really done something wrong. Your communication is important and necessary, so using this phrase may plant a negative seed in the mind of the person youāre speaking to, and sets the expectation that āthis isnāt important so you probably donāt need to listen or action it properlyā. In other words it can devalue your message before theyāve even heard it.
- āIām justā – The word ājustā needs to be extracted at every opportunity. It shows a lack of confidence and weakness, particularly when asking for something. While it can be a crutch to sound friendly, it often instead implies that what youāre asking is of low importance and/or that youāre unsure you should be asking for it in the first place.
- āI guessā¦ā – Are you really guessing? Or are you speaking about something you actually know quite a lot about? We have a feeling itās the latter. Saying āI guess this is the right thing to doā (for example) shows that not only is there little confidence in your own suggestion, but implies that you havenāt thought through it properly; if youāre guessing, then thereās probably little merit to your cause. Instead, use direct statements like, āI recommend thisā¦ā or āI believe this is the right course of actionā.
- Collective language – Using collective language as we mentioned above can be detrimental to people interpreting your value. If it was truly a team effort, then of course mention it. If however, it really wasnāt, learn to say āThank youā and accept the praise youāve earned.
Understand the power of compromise
While weāre adamant about displaying confidence and being sure of yourself, that doesnāt mean that people wonāt disagree with you. Compromise is one of the most powerful weapons in negotiation as it displays a maturity to accept another school of thought and reach a solution that is acceptable to both parties. Adopting the āI must win every pointā way of thinking is unreasonable and you will almost certainly fail in this endeavour.
Confidently voicing your opinion in conversations and meetings, respecting the other opinions (regardless of gender), then having a mature discussion of how to resolve conflicts in thought is a sign of an excellent communicator, whether youāre male or female.
Communicating confidently as a woman in the workforce
This advice is part of a larger picture, and itās important to note that this post is not about saying that the onus is on women to correct their āweaknessesā in their communication skills – itās to help highlight to women that these are mostly subconscious behaviours that need to be addressed and changed in order to stop perpetuating actions that others could perceive as reinforcing negative gender stereotypes.
So next time youāre dealing with senior stakeholders, or engaging with your team, consider the above points and witness for yourself the positive impacts they can have in your workplace interactions. You may even find it beneficial to undertake some individual communication skills coaching in order to help you identify small mistakes you donāt even know youāre making.
Get in touch with us now to speak to us on how you can improve your business presentations skills to be confidence and more engaging. In addition to our individual workshops, we also specialise in group presentation workshops and consulting services.
